bitter heart

sorry i'm not being honest to you although you asked me quite a lot. it just that i don't have the guts to tell you this. i'm scared. you make me scared.. and this time for real. shit this heart is in pain right now. i don't know whether i can cope with this feeling.. i don't think you need me anymore. and i know u didn't realize that.maybe one day u will... just take your time and think about it ok? and today i felt like an idiot .. total imbecile!hahaha... crap. luruh nya hati bila kena fake a smile.hahaha.

its been a while now since i thought i can be invisible at certain time and places. and now that feeling occurs again, and this time is different, this time is way cooler, this time is colder... haha i don't know what to say. i guess that thought will never wrong...

better

now i realize its better when you expect less and even better if you don't expect anything.because when you wait for something to happen it is quite disappointing if that thing didn't happen or turn out the other way..

note to yourself : less is good.

fat

i hate you big fat liar! you make me think about you every night and day. is this an addiction? you're so mean and cool with the lie.. and i'm still addicted to you. thank you. so i guess you just afraid to tell that this is the end. its ok let me figure that out. oh yah this is the end.hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

bye...................

decision

i shouldn't have let myself drown into this world of lie. i shouldn't have open the door that leads me to this road thats hard for me to walk. and i don't know how to express this feeling. i'm confused.some might say i'm blurred out. this sense is getting weaker day by day.i don't want to believe on something that is not been proof yet. do i have to feel it? no, i don't want to! what if its not true? then ill wait.........

money

im being considerate as possible.. and this what happened, over 3 semester i have to spend my money and most of it not for myself... the money flow just like running water. what i get is " sampai hati era biar ... kebulur tak makan?" "habis era nak biar ... berlapar la? " wow..after all this while this is what i get.cool, this is just great.please let me cry. shit...

function

this six sense of mine can't function very well lately. is it because i'm not a mind reader?

its all about her

this is the story about her.her live in a world that her cant even decide what her want,cause her's tied up by everything. maybe its her choice or maybe not, i think her don't get the chance so say a word about what her really want for her life (i think). cryptic is her verb. always in obscure. that is her. her can be a good actress and at the same time a terrible liar. not a multitasking kinda person. her kept on thinking when will good things come to her.but her just can think,cause that good things seems so far from her.. worst come to worst her have to accept it.although her try her hard to solve her problem. her have to please everyone. 

i'm so glad i'm not her.  

yr,n!

a minute

thank you. well, then i go alone.

mango delight

Sayang, im sorry i didn't mean to left you just like that nor to hurt you. Yes i know, i make a lot of mistakes and you have to know that i'm trying my best to change. This is not me.i'd notice it but i didn't realize how much i've change. can you help me please, take me to the old me? i almost forgot the real me. Want to know why i changed? it's because of people around me, they make me change, they turn me into someone else. what they did to me make me changed into what i am now. i need something to rely on i think?and maybe its you that i need. you said something about game? did i? fyi for me love is not a game,yes you have your right to believe who ever you want but,em okay i think i don't need to explain further maybe it's true i am mean. Playgirl is it? i'm sorry.i'm was trying to be nice i didn't mean to.....emm  whatever lah. sayang if you think so then go ahead i won't get mad at you. i'm a coward person. can't say no to anyone.helping others and ruin my own happiness..this is not the end..(i forgot wut i want to say) =.="

What i want you to know is that i really want you to take me on a trip somewhere only we know.seriously can u please? i'm willingly to follow you. so we can be ourself and do whatever we want.. just you and me there.imysm and ily af.you are my mango delight.no one can take you from me,cuz i will i eat you up.hehe.yummy..ok maybe nott ;P

ps : to be continue...

Option

there's plenty of option in life.it is up to us which path we want to take..the easier way or the hard way. My life is quite disappointing, maybe it's because of me. i lost what i had before,and now finding my new one have turn my life upside down.what i want to say is where are you when i need you? or should i just back off from everything ?

ps: preparing myself for the worst.

the ell

i came to think, "who we should believe?" like seriously who??

everyone can act.because we are on this kinda so call movie that full of lies and everyone have to play their part. Just like this minute you tell me u got my back and the next minute your telling others bad things about me? what the fuck?
opss..sorry.excuse me..ok calm down era.this is not the way to handle this situation..but the hell with that! fuck you! hahaha....
you guys just can kiss each other like seriously no need to hesitate. you make me laugh so hard till my tears also came out just like in tv drama.hahahahaa..i cant stop laughing and wonder how could you do that to your own friend?this is just great! nothing gets better than this. you really play your part very well ya know?

You hate me? Why? I really wanna know why? What is your problem dude?
You don't have true friend is it? aaaww so sad,to bad to for you la. Wanna know why? Because you not so good friend also la dude! hahaha.. ok this is funny and weird i never wrote something like this.haha you just made me becoming just like you.OMGUSH!! no wayyy....  ok crap did i wrote something stupid? ok whatever! i'm trying my best to be nice.. i may be small and not that strong but i can punch really fast like lightning u cant even see that coming! haha ok that's too cool. haha.but yah somthing liddat la.hahaha        :p





ps : my grammar totally wrong but, who cares? jyeah! :)

pps : ape aku yang terhegeh-hegeh dekat dia? say that again girlfriend! ;)   dush dush dush...

Present for myself!

special thanks to ABAH! i love you so much!

 hee i waited since last year and yah you bought this for me! sayang abah :)

aummm....

And jeng jeng jeng! I bought this for Myself!jyeah! 

Actually today we went to Penang to celebrate kakna's birthday and also find her the perfect present.and of course abah la who paid the present right. i didnt buy anything for you yet cuz i aint got no money la kakna sorry.maybe later k?don't worry.. i love u always.. 

wee walk around gurney plaza and my voice totally disaster homaigush..haha. i miss u guys ya know! we ate Mcd and western food at this one restaurant near Kepala Batas i forgot the name.sorry. hee

then went back home. here some photos i took.

observation

in science,when it comes to experiment something, we have to observe the situation first. am i right?

yeah! so in my case i like to observe my surrounding. including people who i know and those people i just met.. 

so anyway, my point is everyone have their own perspective about other people. in my situation i like to keep it to myself and yah maybe i lie i do tell it to someone, cause sometimes you have these eager kinda feeling that this person should know what'd you think about this other person.so end up you did tell the person about what'd you think of the other person.  get it? 

you might get the wrong idea , i'm sorry but this is not about me talking bad about others its just something that i want to share with you guys.(haha you guys lah sangat!sape tah bace blog ni)  thats ok never mind. so whatever we do people might get the wrong idea about us or maybe its true.maybe we don't realize our mistakes. so as human we should try our best to be the best! weeeee

tsoe

wihtftw. yes why? and tyfe.

Happy Birthday KAKNA!

to my lovely sis! happy birthday kakna.. i love u so much! im so sorry cuz i didnt get the chance to cheer u up with somthing interesting cuz i dont feel so good. maybe next time i guess? anyway  kakna ur turning 21? omg ur getting old!haha..can get married la now?haha.. pls be happy my dear sis. i love u no matter what happen. i guess all i need is u and our family.that is enough love for me. cuz i dont deserve anyone.haha ok that one is out of topic but anyhow happy birthday again.. may allah bless u always..amin.... :)

stop

this is the end. 02032011 im not meant for no one. just let me be me. im sorry, don't hate me and don't bother to love me. thank you.



ps: hcistisly