howedoit

this is how i sleep , cool isn't it? 

p/s: shit! boleh tak i need ur arm right now! like right now !

yeah -.-

ur back. yeah! but why am i not happy or you? fuck my life.




p/s : please iwhysb !!

i wanna

the truth is u did go. just take care. be safe. its going to be tough for me to deal with 3 empty night..
wondering what, when, did, and so on.. damn its hard!

should or shouldn't ?

i dont mind to be alone if i get the chance to buy mp3 player or anything that can distract me from surrounding . hahaha... i don't mind at all it just that one little tiny thing will bother me a lot if i'm there. seeing someone having fun n being nice with everyone. you can help it that is just you. so should i go or shouldn't i? but its still the same,whether i'm going or not the same feeling will occur. and yah you don't have to worry ill understand. thanks for today.fakeass.

stealing

just like that. i don't know , wait who am i again? yah mind reader.good thing i have these sense. is it ? stop stealing my heart away. yah i can feel ur heartbeat. that song reminds me of you. nice one kurnia.

p/s : i miss you tall -.-"

owh look

look what you've done you make fools of everyone. seems like such fun until you lost what you have won.

TECHNOLOGY

human discovered the usage of  mobile phone or i usually call it handphone.
you have one right? then use it !!!! make the call.

Plan

its raining. the sky felt the same . so whats the plan now? empty is what i am.. i hope u were right here. filling this emptiness . who will i turn to? the truth is ur gone. i have this ego. i wont ask why, i wont ask wether you'd move on.  i've changed. this is not me as i were before. tend to keep it to myself. lightning has come. fear has entered. new facial expression. i'm a good actress. the plan is out of control.

p/s : islyaf

password

i think i should kill myself. or lock myself up. i'm a mess. thats the thing. dont refer it as you.just someone i knew. but it doesnt matter anymore.u'll stop.everything.

officially locking myself from this world....

OPEN : ACCESS DENIED


 PASSWORD : _________________.

love

what the fuck is wrong with love la dude? shit..why do people have to be in love and end up like shit. fuck off! i'm tired of this thing. u said ur here for me but no u didn't . my stomach is aching like shit! gastric summore! got to follow my friend to her bf's house a few blocks away from this house.  it was dark and lightning. The hell! fucking shit... i am so pissed right now.. tonight supposed to be the night i'm having my good night sleep but no! i have to listen to this bullshit.... this crap! this love problem.i don't mind actually.. it just bugs me out when that guy don't event bother to show his face and confront with her. wtf dude? u got no balls at all! just tell her the truth. shit! i'm still in pain right now and still listening to her problem although the damage has been done. shit! i'm sleepy. i'm tired. i don't feel good. what should i do? let me sleep please. i think i should shut down now. i need a long rest. need to run away from this life. who would listen to me?no one will understand my condition. no i dont need sweet talker.no i dont need guys and  no i dont  need sympathies. hell yeah! i'm going crazy!

hide the colors of my heart

blue for the tears

red for the love

black for the night spears the star in the sky

can we stop talking ? bout how you broke my heart? calling other peoples name? yah i'm the one to blame. maybe if you stay here a bit longer u will get hurt.  sedih

this is why

hold your thought. i don't care bout anyone anymore. yah one more thing that i'm scared. then i guess you better stop believe in me. why wait? u've already done that. all the time. thanks for the night....

lost in empty morning

morning, but i guess this is not morning anymore.
i thought i am strong enough. don't even bother about it anymore. but i guess i was wrong. wasn't what i expect it to be. but why? i felt the lost. and it is so big. what should i do? i don't want to wake up every morning and have this empty feeling. i shouldn't have this kind of feeling. i have you. i'm so sorry..seriously i am. only allah know..this feeling of mine that can't be describe .. i have to move on. but i already have. maybe i just can't accept that you totally  moved on. or maybe i didn't do anything when i heard bout the news. i'm happy for you then why should i cry? maybe i should. you are right,yes i'm sad and hurt. i am cool or i tried to be cool last night?  shit, what am i talking about. mango delight can u help me? now i realize. the lost.

10/02/2011

 4. 01 am  YES I LOVE YOU AIMAN.

teeett....

yah Happy birthday and congratulation.. at last.  you win !


and now , what should i do? blank.


p/s : no wonder i cried earlier. happened only when its about u.

lie

"I Hate You". yes, but deep down  inside theres a lie in those words. i know you like to play around and lie to people including me. like shit.. but what if one day you say "I Hate You" and you really mean it? how am i suppose to know? and how am i going to believe whether its a lie or you're telling me the truth ? words can lie. but hips don't lie ( joke )  haha so funny era. hilarious ! noott ! =.="

addiction plus sweets

my new addiction is you. T.O.P you have this face. this facial expression of yours makes me feel like oh my gush can you be mine! haha nott. . your new songs help me dance like a G.H.E.T.T.O E.L.E.C.T.R.O ! (u have to spell it one by one ) haha..  ok enough with that. sure u guys will feel the same duhh? he's hot! handsome summore! weeee :)

my sweets. the apple for my meds (what?) haha.. yes, sure you are a good liar. and i can't tell whether ur telling me the truth or not. just like this words i copied from your teetttt. (maybe i lied, you’re not that cute. HAHAHA)  haha you getting better day by day. yet you still have this one thing in you that cant be describe by word. and that makes u diff from others. thanks for the post that i've read it at ( 5.12 a.m 9/02/2011 ) and until now still reading it. . like seriously, never in my life and never occurred to me that someone will wrote something bout me. im so touched ya know! i hope u can wait for just a while .insyaallah the time will come and you will be mine! haha.. you just have to wait and pray for the best.
 and now you are officially become my mango delight!

mad

mad. why do people get mad? there must be a reason for it right? this is the story of me. haha.. always make people mad at me . seriously not on purpose. i try to avoid those madness from everyone including my parents. first of all i'm so sorry if i done anything wrong.. people make mistakes and they will try to improve themselves ( some of them ) including me. i try my best to change for the best. i really don't like myself. i just don't want to hurt anyone. but i end up hurting them and myself to. this is my problem.. this is me. what should i do? this one friend of mine who have gave me a lot of advice when i was breaking apart,   said " era u just have to choose thats all." , " u cant please everyone u r not a robot! " i've been thinking about it and yes its true. but what if my decision is wrong? i don't what to get hurt because of my choice. i guess i'm better off alone. but ill bet no one likes to be alone. they will die of loneliness... allah has make us with partner.why change them? now i have to think. the thinking part is the hardest thing to do because after that i have to make a decision. owh well what crap am i talking about. zee grammar also so wrong. haha.. but who cares im learning okay!

some day some how good things will come to you, all you have to do is accept it with open heart.

yes i will do that. but how am i going to know wether it is good or bad? is there any machine that i can use to detect ? haha.. all you have to do is pray. insyallah it will come. ok see you again.
assalamualaikum...

sudden

yeah its me again. n yes i know its been a while ( again )  i  didn't update anything for the past month..

 started while i was listening to this song, suddenly i remember those days.. the day when we were always together. we got nothing to do after class then we will go to this place near PTAR. usually i will sit beside u after that we would go nuts and play with the webcam. theres plenty of our pictures together. i'm sorry for losing them. such a big lost for me, blame my lappy. n blame me to for losing u. what have i done.. what should i do? will they be someone just like you? naahh no one can replace u. ur just the best i ever had. (its lame but who cares)  such a waste, what an idiot i am.. i can make decision. i do.. just that i don't want to hurt either... i'm scared. i blame myself for what had happened. i should blame myself. this is not what i wanted it to be.  *e*e   do i get the second chance?