disease

i have this disease.that surely can harm anyone who dare to be with me and also for those who want to be my friend.i wish there's a way or something that can heal.this infections has turn others life up side down.. i don't know why,but over these years all i know is there's something wrong with me.everything is surely my fault..wth is wrong with me? i'm so sad!seriously i am.. i want to cry so hard.. i was hoping you're here with me.but its ok , i know you're too bz with catering and all..  i'm losing hope.ya allah please give me strength. when will this thing end? i want to be like everyone else..having friends.thats my problem.i don't know how...i just don't. T.T